Although not legally required, spouses communicating during divorce can be beneficial. It allows them to exchange information and make decisions seamlessly. However, it can also increase the likelihood of conflicts due to emotional triggers and unresolved issues.
Thus, it’s important to know the best ways to hold conversations with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Below are a few tips to help you:
Set boundaries
You and your spouse should set ground rules for communicating. These include the topics to discuss and those to avoid, when to contact each other and the communication modes to use. For instance, you can agree not to discuss any topic that is not divorce-related and not to contact each other late at night or early in the morning.
Additionally, you can agree to use emails for exchanging information/updates, texts for reminders and phone calls for emergencies. You can also use co-parenting apps or in-person meetings if possible. Note that written communication is easy to document.
Use the BIFF method
When communicating with your spouse, it helps to use the Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm (BIFF) method. Every response you send should be short, strictly stick to the facts, use a friendly tone and state your position/decision clearly.
Take time before responding
You can take time before responding to your spouse, unless it’s an emergency. Doing this allows you to give well-thought-out responses. Responding immediately can result in impulsive replies that are emotionally charged.
Ensure you acknowledge receipt of the message. Let your spouse know you have received the message and will respond by a specific time.
Avoid communicating through third parties
Avoid passing messages to each other through your children, family members or mutual friends.
Communicating with your spouse when going through a divorce can be difficult, but it can be successfully handled. Learn more about how you can have a smooth process.