Not every couple with shared minor children can keep their relationship healthy and stable. Sometimes, parents recognize that living together or remaining married is not healthy or functional. In such situations, parents may decide that divorcing or living separately is better not only for them but also for their shared children. They want to shield their children from conflict and lead by example by pursuing healthy, satisfying relationships.
Some couples realize before a child is even born that staying together may not work for the family. Others may separate while their children are still relatively young and dependent on their caregivers. In such situations, one parent might believe they have very few rights.
Is it possible to share custody when children are not yet old enough to attend preschool?
Younger children have unique needs
Children who are in grade school or beyond can usually adjust to shared custody arrangements. Parents might start by splitting weeks with younger school-age children and then rotating weeks as the children become more mature and can handle longer separation from each of their parents.
Infants do not yet have a sense of object permanence. They therefore find it inherently distressing to separate from their primary caregiver. Parents attempting to work out shared custody during a child’s earliest months need to take that into consideration.
Most of the time, the youngest children in the family need to stay with their caregiver as much as possible. Regular visitation, possibly even daily visits, can be helpful for establishing a parental bond without disrupting a child’s attachment to their primary caregiver.
As children grow more mature and recognize that they can reunite with their parents after a separation, longer parenting sessions become possible. Other factors, including whether or not a mother breastfeeds a young child, can also influence the custody schedule used while the child is still young.
Parents can start off with limited separation and can plan to slowly modify their arrangements as the children tolerate longer separations. Learning more about these developmental needs of children can make it easier for parents to establish workable child custody arrangements. Parents who cooperate with one another and focus on their children’s needs can share custody of even infants in an effective manner.