It is common practice for divorcing or separated parents to share legal custody. The term “legal custody” does not simply refer to the breakdown of parenting time in the order approved by the courts. Instead, legal custody specifically refers to the authority that parents have to make decisions about their children.
Married and cohabitating parents automatically share legal custody, as they typically cooperate with one another to make decisions about their children. Those who divorce or separate are often subject to custody orders that instruct them to share legal custody. That obligation can become a source of conflict. Those preparing for co-parenting may need to be aware of the three challenges outlined below that can arise related to decision-making authority.
The need to communicate
For parents to make use of their legal decision-making authority, they need to understand their children’s circumstances. Typically, those who share legal custody have to routinely share information about the social relationships, medical concerns and academic endeavors of their children. Parents need to advise one another when their children have health issues or start struggling at school. Failing to share critical information can complicate attempts to share decision-making authority. A lack of communication might lead to unnecessary conflict started by parents who don’t understand the reasoning behind a specific decision.
The need to give up control
Shared legal custody has several practical implications. Not only do parents have to cooperate on key decisions, but they have to give one another a degree of autonomy when they have parenting time. It can be difficult to let go of the desire to micromanage what children eat or how they socialize. Parents have to learn to respect one another’s legal custody rights during active parenting time.
The need to compromise
Parents who share legal custody don’t just have a say about minor issues that arise during their time with the children. They also have a right to influence decisions with long-term implications. They may care about what church their children attend, what school they attend or what health care they receive. In scenarios where parents have different preferences or values, they often have to work with one another and compromise. The need to make concessions regarding the upbringing of minor children can be very challenging for many parents to adapt to after they initially separate.
In some cases, parents may include provisions in their parenting plans that help limit legal custody conflicts. Other times, they may need to go back to court to enforce or modify child custody orders. Understanding the different types of custody awarded when parents begin living separately can help people understand their rights and obligations as parents.