Autumn is a lovely time here in Massachusetts, and the colorful falling leaves herald the upcoming fall and winter holidays. And while those holidays are fun for most, divorced co-parents often struggle with navigating their holiday custody arrangements.
Below are some suggestions to help make the holiday season flow more smoothly for the children and their co-parents.
Address the holidays in your parenting plan
Planning ahead to determine how the holidays will be split between co-parents is the best way to prevent glitches that can leave children of divorce with unpleasant memories of what should be happy moments.
If you and your ex-spouse cannot agree on a fair division of time with the children, the family law court wil make the final decision.
Cooperation can lead to harmony
Pick your battles wisely. If your former spouse celebrates Hanukkah and your family goes all out for Christmas, work together to assure that the kids get to enjoy the best of both winter holidays. This is especially important when extended family members are in town to visit and break bread together. Don’t let your ego override your children’s best interests.
Understand that custody agreements are made to modify
If your divorce was finalized when the kids were toddlers and they are now tweens or teens, it is quite likely you will need to tweak your custody agreement to meet their changing needs. Your custody order might no longer be tenable when trying to accommodate kids’ commitments to sports teams, extracurricular activities and even part-time jobs.
Keep travel time to a minimum
Unfortunately, due to their parents’ living situations, some children’s holiday memories consist mainly of being shuttled back and forth from their parents’ homes. Unless you want your kids to suffer this version of planes, trains and automobiles, work together to establish holiday custody arrangements that minimize travel time.